Because my heart still beats ♡

Because my heart still beats.
The wounds that you gave still ache.
The dreams that we shared still appear.
The smile I use to smile never came again. The endless fights are no more.
Those eyes that stared me never saw me again.
We had endless problems, but I loved you.
You have nothing more to do with me.
And I’ve poisoned you.
The love that we had can  come again. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.
never
I HAVE UNDERSTOOD.

I am not the same princess anymore.
I cannot fix everything.
No one’s going to help me.
I’m on my own.
I have to figure out how things work here.
And I will.
And when I do I’ll tell the world.
I’ll get out of the hellhole.
I WILL.
Because my heart still beats.

I have to write.

I don't write everyday. It's only after a few days of not writing that I completely freak out and it's only after some sad hours and enumerous arguments with people in my life. I hate them, hurt them and then spend couple of hours apologizing with them for I have made them all upset because of my stupidity. And it is only after all this shit
That I begin something. This time being easy because I am not thinking much and only talking about my present situation and I am not on an exquisite wandering.
I love to write. To pen down every inch of feeling that I experience every moment. Oh no i am not that good of a writer but yes i know i am not that bad either. So I pen down some unrealistic things that can never happen to me but I, I still for my own nerves to calm down and for my heart to take a chill and be happy for a while I write.
I write about my past,not much- it's gone.
I write about my present because it feels like I've handed over the presurre to someone else or shared my happiness with some other soul.
I write I write about my future because I have hope in every new day. My hope lies in tomorrow for today has not given me much. Maybe tomorrow is the day.
So I go forth into the future boldly. Taking steps that might kiss me or even fuck me at times. But it's ok its life.
And then wait a minute something just happened which is more important than this piece of writing. 
And before this blog begins to sound like that of a sadist girl who is lonely, lost, sad, depressed, in a one sided love.
And since I REFUSE TO BE ONE OF A KIND.
I bid good bye x

And yea it's life I take a bold step and move again. And you know how it goes on from here ;)

A little prayer.

Hey
I am here in KSA. Sitting in front of the holiest place on the earth THE KA'BAH for Allah has bestowed me with this golden opportunity.
I don't know you, Or you might not know me or you may have forgotten me. Anyways I am human, you are a human and so I pray for you, for your family, for your health & wealth. May Allah bless you with akal & shakal and dhan & daulat. ;)
To all those who are reading this I love you all and with all sincerity and love I pray for your well being. May Allah SWT also give you this opportunity to visit this sacred land.
May he fulfill all our desires and dreams. Protect us from all the evil and show us the right direction in every field.
O Allah we are indeed the most sin doers please forgive us for all our sins that we've been doing jaane ya anjaane. We are in the end your children o lord please listen to us, to our forgiveness, to our needs. For there's no one besides you who can help us. We are the wrong doers please guide us, protect us and love us.
Ameen
Stay blessed x