That ball of love !

With my mouth stinking like it does when we don't eat for long and my hands all dried up with these winters I type, I type for you to know, to know that I'm crazy, crazy because you made me.
My eyes leak and I'm unable to speak, my heart spills out feelings and they're all over me you can see them in my overflowing swollen eyes and my big flowing tomato like red nose and my face that says 'I'm going to eat alive the first person who comes to me'
I have this tendency every month, no I guess every week, sometimes twice a week or no I am like this just everyday.
You see me like a grown arrogant woman with much more attitude than her weight, yeah seriously ! I am bold and strong and got walls huge huge walls build around me which only few can cross but those who do are the ones I love, love them to the extent of doing anything for them. Since they're close they've seen the little ball of love that I own which I give out to them it's full of peace, pj's, love and feelings and of course trust and understanding. So they love it they come and play and have fun and leave, crushing the ball so bad that it takes month to put it back together not for me to live my life happily but for those who haven't had their chance so that they come and crush and leave and the cycle OBVIOUSLY REPEATS.
It's not that difficult you know, now that I'm used to it. All it takes is a few days of gloominess, some irritation in the eyes and a stomach that doesn't take in anything.
But it's OK afterwards, things go smooth.
This has happened with me several times and I handled it well but I think I'm falling now I'm afraid now, every HI / HELLO got hidden in something are you here for the ball of love ? No. Not now.
It's torn now. All of it. And I quit this time. I'm not putting it back together not that I don't need it but because I don't want someone to come back and crush it again. I've failed I guess.
But that's what happens when you put in too much.
Too much of something kills the appetite.
Haina na ?

Broken crayons.

Tomorrow is another day. The sun will shine again tomorrow. There are plenty of fish in the sea  and there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously ?
Looks like I've fooled myself enough by now. I don't see anything. All of this seems to be never ending. I have reached that point in life where I no longer give a fuck to anyone, their feelings and whatever fuck they do.
I just can't please people now. I AM DONE !
No matter how hard you try, how good you be as a human they are always going to judge you for numerous stupid reasons.
No matter how hard you try you'll still be an option to them.
But enough !
I am no more worrying about anyone or anything I have no more stamina. I will do what I WANT TO DO . I no more require approvals or permissions I can decide myself.
I am not going to think about tomorrow, or whether there's a fish left for me or not. I am going to keep my head high, wink, smile and move on.
I am not going to sit and cry I will move on,

Because no matter what broken crayons still color.

☆☆Abraj Al-Bait☆☆

I am totally smitten by this statuesque  called Abraj Al-Bait Towers, also known as the Mecca Royal Hotel Clock Tower in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. These towers strives to modernize the city in catering to its pilgrims. And my eternal love for alpine buildings makes it one of the best destinations of my visit to this sacred land.
Oh yes most importantly The complex holds several world records,
•The tallest clock tower in the world. •The world's largest clock face.
•The complex's hotel tower became the second tallest building in  world in 2012, surpassing Taiwan's Taipei 101, and is currently the third tallest building in the world, surpassed only by Dubai's Burj Khalifa and Shanghai's Sh the anghai Tower.

The building complex is metres away from the world's largest mosque Masjid al-Haram which means that just like me
you can hop in and out of the building whenever you want to. In between the intervals of two salaah's you can go and shop inside the complex. It deals in almost everything. You get food of various countries, dates, prayer mats etc etc at very reasonable price with the scope of bargaining too, but i would suggest you should take some bargaining tips from my mamma she's just too good at it.
And oh of course it also serves as the best destination to shop from brands like ALDO, ESPIRIT, MILANO, ACCESSORIZE, STEVE MADEN and many more.. Don't bargain here lol. And also for the food they have KFC, SBARRO, HARDEES, my favourite STARBUCKS, BASKIN ROBBINS, BURGER KING and a lot more. And also we have two three restaurants serving indian as well as pakistani food.
I am going to miss this place a lot for I have spent a lot of time here. Also I am in much Afsos for not carrying my camera with me but still took some pictures from the phone, take a look at them too :)
So whenever you come to Mecca don't forget to visit this place and shop khul ke.
And remember me in your prayers.

xoxo

P.s: Sorry I am late for this post but it seemed to have drowned in the sea of drafts that I own. Found it today so published. Happy reading :)

Bet !

"I knew more about love.. passion.. trust.. luck.. betrayal and destiny when I was seventeen years old than you will probably ever know in all your life".

I BET !

Say.

Two sayings that sum up my life. I don't know only for today or for all the rest of my life .
How can people exactly describe what we feel ? How can they just put feelings into words ? I've been wondering about this for quite long now. Kher, it's because of them that I don't have to explain it to people much, I can just quote my feelings through their sayings.
Like ;
"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you are afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt, it's gonna hurt. Because it matters."
-John Green
Haina na ? Somethings are always hanging around we don't want to be with them but at the same time we cannot go without them. I guess we call it "Complicated life".

Ok another one ;

"All I really want to know is how other people are making it through life ? Where do they put their body, hour by hour and how do they cope inside of it ? "
-Miranda July

This makes sense isn't it. I am here sitting beneath the waning moon just lost and wondering what am I doing with my own life where am I heading to ? I am just so occupied with thoughts as of The sadist.  But people I see two blocks down are moving around on streets with friends laughing and kissing each other. How ? How do they do it ?
Sometimes in life it takes every bit of me just to fake a smile. And look at them so comfortable in their skin they are. While I am just bothered about my night suit, it's my favourite and the color is fading -.-

Well, Thankyou John Green and Miranda July for letting me pour out my heart through your words.

X

Wake me up !

Wake me up !
I've been sleeping for long.
Away from the world,
I've been sleeping long.
In his arms that I fit in best
I've been sleeping.
For long.
Dwelled in fantasies, in love,
In the perfect life ;
With him of course !
Oh I've been sleeping long.
He spoke of love,
marriage and having babies,
I realise Alas !
I've been sleeping long.
Wake me up !
For now I've fooled myself
For long.
Wake me up!
I refuse to be fooled more.
I've been
For long.

Don't be a newspaper !

For quite some time I have been quarrelling with myself whether to share this post or not. But I think I should as it might be useful for some.
So this caboodle of feelings of hatred, love, passion, revenge and glominess has been with each of us at some point or the other.
And as even psychology explains it's always good for the benefit of mind to share these with people.
We kind of feel relaxed after sharing our thoughts with others. And often while sharing we don't realize whom we are sharing it with and that's where the plot begins. We are so so so lost in our own things that we missout on realising who the closed one's are. And speak up things in front of those who really don't care all they could do is feel sorry or get a topic to gossip about with the rest of friends.
Don't be a newspaper.
Just like we read all sorts of news in a newspaper and all we do is feel sorry for the flood or happy for the latest Dia mirza's wedding similar is the case with us people have nothing to do with us, our issues our lives. Than why why to be a newspaper ? And tell the world about our love, breakups, problems. 

Did you just breakup ? Or had a quarrel with your bf/gf ?
Oh, so you're heartbroken. Let's upload a picture on instagram or maybe a nice heartbroken quote would work well for a facebook status followed by a few messages by the "Sympathetic" people.
Now that's cool. You feel better. Right ?
It's over. Han. Relaxed.

No my love no.
That status was read by some old school friends or some college friends with whom you really don't have good terms.  And do you know they are meeting over lunch today. A topic about the social media is surely to take place and maybe your facebook status might come as a topic of discussion.
"Did you read her status ?"
"Oh my god has she lost it ?"
"She's a mad woman."
They might have liked your status or might have even commented "things will be ok don't worry".
But see what are they saying. This happens. Shit happens. But when you've the choice of not being exploited by anyone than why do you choose to be a newspaper?
You have the most closed one's right next to you. Your mom, your dad your sister, brother. They will listen to you, help you, explain it to you, and afterwards will even ask you about how's it going.
So please don't be a newspaper. Own a journal instead. Pen it down. Ask yourself. Give yourself time. Sit back and relax. Seek refuge from the All mighty. Think and act.
But,
DON'T BE A NEWSPAPER !
It's useless.

Stay blessed x