Bet !

"I knew more about love.. passion.. trust.. luck.. betrayal and destiny when I was seventeen years old than you will probably ever know in all your life".

I BET !

Say.

Two sayings that sum up my life. I don't know only for today or for all the rest of my life .
How can people exactly describe what we feel ? How can they just put feelings into words ? I've been wondering about this for quite long now. Kher, it's because of them that I don't have to explain it to people much, I can just quote my feelings through their sayings.
Like ;
"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you are afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt, it's gonna hurt. Because it matters."
-John Green
Haina na ? Somethings are always hanging around we don't want to be with them but at the same time we cannot go without them. I guess we call it "Complicated life".

Ok another one ;

"All I really want to know is how other people are making it through life ? Where do they put their body, hour by hour and how do they cope inside of it ? "
-Miranda July

This makes sense isn't it. I am here sitting beneath the waning moon just lost and wondering what am I doing with my own life where am I heading to ? I am just so occupied with thoughts as of The sadist.  But people I see two blocks down are moving around on streets with friends laughing and kissing each other. How ? How do they do it ?
Sometimes in life it takes every bit of me just to fake a smile. And look at them so comfortable in their skin they are. While I am just bothered about my night suit, it's my favourite and the color is fading -.-

Well, Thankyou John Green and Miranda July for letting me pour out my heart through your words.

X

Wake me up !

Wake me up !
I've been sleeping for long.
Away from the world,
I've been sleeping long.
In his arms that I fit in best
I've been sleeping.
For long.
Dwelled in fantasies, in love,
In the perfect life ;
With him of course !
Oh I've been sleeping long.
He spoke of love,
marriage and having babies,
I realise Alas !
I've been sleeping long.
Wake me up !
For now I've fooled myself
For long.
Wake me up!
I refuse to be fooled more.
I've been
For long.

Don't be a newspaper !

For quite some time I have been quarrelling with myself whether to share this post or not. But I think I should as it might be useful for some.
So this caboodle of feelings of hatred, love, passion, revenge and glominess has been with each of us at some point or the other.
And as even psychology explains it's always good for the benefit of mind to share these with people.
We kind of feel relaxed after sharing our thoughts with others. And often while sharing we don't realize whom we are sharing it with and that's where the plot begins. We are so so so lost in our own things that we missout on realising who the closed one's are. And speak up things in front of those who really don't care all they could do is feel sorry or get a topic to gossip about with the rest of friends.
Don't be a newspaper.
Just like we read all sorts of news in a newspaper and all we do is feel sorry for the flood or happy for the latest Dia mirza's wedding similar is the case with us people have nothing to do with us, our issues our lives. Than why why to be a newspaper ? And tell the world about our love, breakups, problems. 

Did you just breakup ? Or had a quarrel with your bf/gf ?
Oh, so you're heartbroken. Let's upload a picture on instagram or maybe a nice heartbroken quote would work well for a facebook status followed by a few messages by the "Sympathetic" people.
Now that's cool. You feel better. Right ?
It's over. Han. Relaxed.

No my love no.
That status was read by some old school friends or some college friends with whom you really don't have good terms.  And do you know they are meeting over lunch today. A topic about the social media is surely to take place and maybe your facebook status might come as a topic of discussion.
"Did you read her status ?"
"Oh my god has she lost it ?"
"She's a mad woman."
They might have liked your status or might have even commented "things will be ok don't worry".
But see what are they saying. This happens. Shit happens. But when you've the choice of not being exploited by anyone than why do you choose to be a newspaper?
You have the most closed one's right next to you. Your mom, your dad your sister, brother. They will listen to you, help you, explain it to you, and afterwards will even ask you about how's it going.
So please don't be a newspaper. Own a journal instead. Pen it down. Ask yourself. Give yourself time. Sit back and relax. Seek refuge from the All mighty. Think and act.
But,
DON'T BE A NEWSPAPER !
It's useless.

Stay blessed x

Because my heart still beats ♡

Because my heart still beats.
The wounds that you gave still ache.
The dreams that we shared still appear.
The smile I use to smile never came again. The endless fights are no more.
Those eyes that stared me never saw me again.
We had endless problems, but I loved you.
You have nothing more to do with me.
And I’ve poisoned you.
The love that we had can  come again. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.
never
I HAVE UNDERSTOOD.

I am not the same princess anymore.
I cannot fix everything.
No one’s going to help me.
I’m on my own.
I have to figure out how things work here.
And I will.
And when I do I’ll tell the world.
I’ll get out of the hellhole.
I WILL.
Because my heart still beats.

I have to write.

I don't write everyday. It's only after a few days of not writing that I completely freak out and it's only after some sad hours and enumerous arguments with people in my life. I hate them, hurt them and then spend couple of hours apologizing with them for I have made them all upset because of my stupidity. And it is only after all this shit
That I begin something. This time being easy because I am not thinking much and only talking about my present situation and I am not on an exquisite wandering.
I love to write. To pen down every inch of feeling that I experience every moment. Oh no i am not that good of a writer but yes i know i am not that bad either. So I pen down some unrealistic things that can never happen to me but I, I still for my own nerves to calm down and for my heart to take a chill and be happy for a while I write.
I write about my past,not much- it's gone.
I write about my present because it feels like I've handed over the presurre to someone else or shared my happiness with some other soul.
I write I write about my future because I have hope in every new day. My hope lies in tomorrow for today has not given me much. Maybe tomorrow is the day.
So I go forth into the future boldly. Taking steps that might kiss me or even fuck me at times. But it's ok its life.
And then wait a minute something just happened which is more important than this piece of writing. 
And before this blog begins to sound like that of a sadist girl who is lonely, lost, sad, depressed, in a one sided love.
And since I REFUSE TO BE ONE OF A KIND.
I bid good bye x

And yea it's life I take a bold step and move again. And you know how it goes on from here ;)

A little prayer.

Hey
I am here in KSA. Sitting in front of the holiest place on the earth THE KA'BAH for Allah has bestowed me with this golden opportunity.
I don't know you, Or you might not know me or you may have forgotten me. Anyways I am human, you are a human and so I pray for you, for your family, for your health & wealth. May Allah bless you with akal & shakal and dhan & daulat. ;)
To all those who are reading this I love you all and with all sincerity and love I pray for your well being. May Allah SWT also give you this opportunity to visit this sacred land.
May he fulfill all our desires and dreams. Protect us from all the evil and show us the right direction in every field.
O Allah we are indeed the most sin doers please forgive us for all our sins that we've been doing jaane ya anjaane. We are in the end your children o lord please listen to us, to our forgiveness, to our needs. For there's no one besides you who can help us. We are the wrong doers please guide us, protect us and love us.
Ameen
Stay blessed x